I am nothing but a mistake that exists out of error
I wake up in a room within a house. I lay upon a bed and beside said bed is a desk. On the ceiling is a light bulb, yet to be turned on. A room near mine is one with a large bed, two people lay on the bed, asleep, distant from each other. I look up at the ceiling and try to smile, I try to present myself as happy. Without seeing myself I can tell that my smile feels faker than usual. It strains my face, my muscles feel forced to create such a shape. I stop smiling and uncover myself and place my feet on the ground. The floor feels cold against my bare feet and I walk up to a mirror on my wall. What stares at me looks real to life. Flesh, hair, eyes, a chest that moves with each breath, but I know better to believe what is given to me. I smile and it smiles back, its smile is as emotionless as mine. I walk away and so does it.
I get dressed, I brush my teeth, I comb my hair, I skip breakfast because I'm not hungry. Today is the same as yesterday, and the day before that, and everyday before that. Walking out the door, I headed towards school. Walking around me, a lump of flesh that can think. That can remember and forget. They are no different than a worm, but a worm can't remember. They can.
They look at me, they glare and whisper, they see me and don't see what they want to see. I understand why they do so, I am not like them, I'm different. Although our blood may be our life force, I am just a mind put into a body that is not mine. I see people, their smiles, the way they look at each other and how they mingle with each other. I mimic their behavior to the best of my ability. But they still dont trust me, although they just see me as weird and not as a glitch. A mistake in a system of code, an error that slipped through and ended up on the other side. I am not like them. I am a glitch.
At home there are two people who greet me. I greet back as that is the thing you are “supposed to do". One of them is cooking something to eat. The other is watching TV. i've tried to watch TV at one point, but I couldn't process it, it gave me a headache of sorts. I walk towards my room, one of them asks me how school was. I talk to the hallway towards my room, but loud enough that they can hear me.
“It was fine”
“Did anything happen?”
“No”
At which point they stopped talking, I assume my meek responses were not to their liking. I enter my room and see them in the mirror again, I turn to look at them and they smile. It looks real, they seem to be taunting me. I feel a pain go over my body and I look away as not to feed into them. I go to my desk and sit. The wooden desk is cold and covered in papers. It is very upsetting to see this and I decided the best course of action is to clean it.
It takes a mere couple of minutes and its done. I turn around and feel my body become engulfed in pain. My breath is stopped for a moment, and I feel as if I've switched. The pain is gone and I notice the mirror. I see them sitting down, but they are smiling. They stand up and look at me, smiling. Then. walk out of the room. I look away and the mirror and lie down. I close my eyes and pretend to sleep.
It's dark, and cold, I'm alone from people and can feel the relief of my mistaked existence lifting off of me. I get up, and look back at my body, it's breathing. I look away and walk into the dark room. I walk for a while, a long while, until I finally stop at the end of the room. Where a mirror lies and they look at me. They smile at me again. I show no signs of discomfort or pain however. They notice this and stop smiling, they stare at me and I stare back. Two empty vessels staring into the void of each other's despair. They walk forwards towards me and put out their hand to mine. We touch. My existence is meaningless and a mistake. I am nothing. I don't exist.